so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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