Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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