I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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