if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
