WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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