If i come over, it means nothing
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize