my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
