so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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