We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
