last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
