I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
