More tranny stories later!
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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