I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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