I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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