I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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