You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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