At least make sure they are 18
Why
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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