She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
