tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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