I got chris browned last night
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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