another moral hangover. fuck.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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