If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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