Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
high people should be assigned attendants
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
