FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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