You really coming over, don't trick.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
