Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
