There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
