I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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