Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
