ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
