it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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