chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
