You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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