so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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