She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
