i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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