you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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