I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
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