You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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