It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
fuck your aforementioned shoe
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
