i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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