I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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