508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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