I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
