I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
