that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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