Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Do vagina's smell?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
