i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
