At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
