wanna go halves on a baby?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
